Trump: The Train Wreck

A true American mob boss

Foreword

CBS, which is majority owned by Trump’s buddies, the Ellisons, is open to a pitch for a new TV series starring a famous mob boss who becomes President of The United States. It’s supposed to be the positive story of the real “Don”, including the racist, KKK-identified father who set him up in the real estate business. The real Don is head of the Republican Party, whose Minnesota chapter  recently held a moment of silence for Derek Chauvin, the police officer convicted of murdering George Floyd. Their moment of silence expresses more than you may care to know.   

Character and plot 

Imagine a low budget TV series that features a mob boss turned politician. This mob boss wants to be the boss of all times. He presents himself as a playboy, real estate developer, jack of all trades, TV personality and importantly, electable. He appears obese but flexible; tall enough to look less fat than he really is. Side views are not flattering for obese individuals, so we edit them out. 

Our mob boss is groomed to run for President of the U.S. He’s a White House winner.  Any limits on wealth, greed and unethical behavior are overlooked. He’s a classic American patriot driven by self-interest, power and money. Everything else bores him. America, Love It or Leave It. More money is better than less money, by any means necessary. He envisions using the Presidency as a slot machine with all the odds stacked in his favor. He anticipates making billions.

The Don reads excerpts from Hitler’s Mein Kampf for inspiration. It thrills him, although he’s not sure what it all means. He can be seen rehearsing authoritarian statements in front of a mirror every day.  His head nodding, eyes forward, cap down, arms moving, he speaks in short, barely intelligible sentences. “Make America Great Again”, “Drain The Swamp”,  “You’re a nasty reporter from a second-rate newspaper”, and “You’re a loser with terrible ratings” are epithets he delivers. He continually fabricates reality: blowing up boats carrying drugs with no evidence, bombing Iran for some reason or another, canceling USAID because it’s a waste of money—no study was needed. Millions of Republicans are, however, imbued with the same stupidity and cruelty. 

The Don preys on stupidity. He cultivates support for white supremacy and loathes immigrants. The Voting Rights Act makes him cringe. He’s accustomed to colored people serving him; and he recalls fondly how his father, Fred, wouldn’t rent apartments to Black tenants in New York City, and how he was arrested at a 1927 KKK rally in Queens. The Proud Boys love the “Don.” White as snow, just like America’s founders. 

The Don, since he was a young man, dreamed of ICE agents in the streets of America rounding up immigrants. It’s a more active form of telling rental agents to mark applications of colored people applying for apartments with a “C.” This saves time in rejecting applications. 

We’ll introduce a tad of complexity to his character.  He marries an Eastern European model who slurs her 10-word vocabulary. We’ll give her limited scenes as a kind of scarecrow who has spent her life dieting and dressing up in costumes. She calls him “Donny” in private, although she’s a bit taken aback by all those pictures of “Donny” with Jeffrey.  All those young girls make her jealous. “Oh, Donny,” she says, “pray tell, why are you in 1,000s of photos with Mr. Epstein? You’re not a pedophile, are you? That’s very bad for your image.” 

His greatest hits

The Don, if elected, promises to use the White House to benefit all Americans—no wars, less inflation, better standing in the world, and more money for all. Secretly, however, he revels in his most cagey accomplishments, and couldn’t care less about ordinary Americans: 

• Starting a fake real estate school in New York—somewhat original 
• Bankrupting his gambling casinos in Atlantic City, costing investors $1.5 billion and employees $2 million in retirement funds while he pocketed $40 million in fees–somewhat unique   
• Selling personally autographed copies of the Bible—spiritually attuned  
• Trading 100s of stocks while in the White House, many with insider information, and pre-negotiations with world leaders. The Don buys Boeing stock and then goes to China to negotiate with Xi to ensure that China will buy 200 airplanes from Boeing— original  
• Suing the U.S. government for billions on bogus charges—highly creative  
• Generating millions by investing in crypto after he twisted political arms to change the laws—and reportedly “earning” over $1.5 billion since taking office the second time around—highly opportunistic 

He imagines renaming the Department of Justice the land of Donald’s Opportunity. He’s honored to be a patron of the Supreme Court. He shows appreciation for Justice Thomas who has received roughly $6 million from conservative patrons including billionaire Harlan Crow who bought Thomas’ mother’s house. Thomas, who demonstrates selective amnesia, refers to himself as a “Walmart kind of guy.” Our Walmart guy simply forgot to report 35 destination vacations and private jet flights. He claims that he didn’t realize that he had to report “gifts.”  

Our Don has a checkered history with women, which we’ll fix.  At least 28 women have publicly accused the Don of sexual misconduct, and one woman won a $5 million lawsuit against him for sexual abuse and defamation. He was also found paying a porno-film actress hush money through his attorney to shut her up. She calls herself, “Stormy Daniels.” He says he never had sex with her, which echoes Bill Clinton’s defense against Monica Lewinsky. He proclaims his innocence to reveal his human side. He boldly states that the women filing lawsuits weren’t that attractive. He says, “Don’t flatter yourselves.” His defense builds sympathy among his core voters who think sexual harassment is A-OK.

The Don is perfect for the Republican ticket. His Republican buddies have great respect for his cleverness. They surround him with adulation, like Senator Lindsey Graham, and put flags on his lapel pins, table settings,  backgrounds, car antennas and anywhere else that displays well. He rehearses ‘God Bless America’ because it doesn’t come naturally. He exudes ignorance, which makes him a favorite among Republican donors who dole out hundreds of millions.  Money and suggestions work with the Don. Need anything fixed, he’s a fixer—-for an undisclosed donation, of course. 

The Don only appoints underbosses who serve him, not the U.S. His new acting Director of National Intelligence, Bill Pulte, for instance, has no applicable experience for the job, none, zip, zero. “Bill” is basically an enforcer for the Don, a hatchet man driven by orders of revenge against critics. The Don’s Justice Department has even indicted The Southern Poverty Law Center, the civil-rights group that tracks hate groups, alleging it secretly funneled donor money to the very hate groups it exposed. The SPLC calls the charges provably false. Whether or not they stick, the message lands: cross the Don, and the full weight of prosecution finds you.

The Don dreams of an Architectural Digest version of the White House, a gilded Mar-a-Lago replete with a reportedly $1 billion gold-finished ballroom–nearby ultra-blue pool estimated at $17 million, and the tallest arch in the world—bigger than the Arc de Triomphe—estimated at a minimum cost of $100 million including elevators. He loves pomp and circumstance. To show everyday Americans that he can relate to grittiness, he greenlit a UFC fight on the White House South Lawn for $60 million to celebrate 250 years as a nation. 

Don loves spectacle. In fact, he’s planning a third term as President despite what he and Republicans have caused: inflation and higher prices throughout the economy, reportedly over $100 billion in direct costs of war with Iran, destruction of civil rights to incarcerate immigrants, including $45 billion to expand ICE detention to 100,000 beds and another $3.4 trillion in national deficit added by his Big Beautiful Bill over 10 years. Don is bankrupting the country while spending over $100 million on golf outings.  

What to do

Unless you want the Don and his cronies to continue unimpeded as your leaders, make sure you vote against Republicans in the midterm elections in November 2026. Prepare now to get out and vote, and make sure that your friends do too. Organize, show up and vote.